dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
