My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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