I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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