It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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