and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
