I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
