The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
