Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
