her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
