the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
