a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
