I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
