I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
the day after is always just damage control
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Randomize