So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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