is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
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