I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Piatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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