Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
