That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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