remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
