i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
Randomize
