By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
