i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Randomize
