is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Randomize
