yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
she pinky promised me she was 18
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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