i love accidental penises.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
