I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
