She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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