If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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