I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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