she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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