You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
