I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
