Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
