They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
