there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
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