Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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