So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Randomize
