i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
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