I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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