Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
