Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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