just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
