I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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