Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
