Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
