so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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