our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
She's the barista slut.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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