She's JV to your varsity
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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