Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
