i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
